My life consists of laying things down, but remembering what was once pleasurable. Loving even if I'm not fully loved in return. Taking long drives with no specific destination at the end. Laughing; for I dearly love to laugh. Having three hour heart to heart conversations in the car. Eating M&M's when I'm feeling yucky. Sitting by myself on Sunday mornings in Church. Communicating with my eyes. But mostly, my life consists of learning how to love.
I'm alive!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.. YOU WERENT SAYING ANYTHING!! I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO! We’re very comfortable with each other, and that makes me very happy. We yell at each other. We laugh at each other. We can sit in silence with each other. Its just great, my love.So after that crazy crazy tumblr call..I ended up getting stuck between the seat and the van door. I was wearing a skirt.
Yes. They had to pop open the door to let me out. Yes I did roll out. and Yes.
So that was the start of a brilliant next few days.
There were some hilarious moments, some sad moments, some insanely painful ones, some moments where we just sat in content silence, and then some where we sat in a quiet disarray…
A recap.
“WHAT THE FLIP!!! WHY ARE YOU TURNING!!! DID I SAY YOU COULD TURN?!?!!? OH GOD!!!” And then there was lots of crazy yelling and then some getting lost.
Grandma passed away. =’[
Then there was that pain.. Oh goodness gracious that was painful… Gloria’s mom gave me some vitamins!
Sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket watching my best friends wedding and whining.
Driving.. both in different contemplative minds yet… it felt comfortable, no awkwardness in the silence.
I am creative and original. =]
Also, I ran into Karine on the rail. Remember her? No? Ok, she dated Michael, whom I ran into at safeway? Still no? Perky cheerleader? We were in like.. elementary together. Turns out, the old gang is mostly in phoenix, the people i used to hang out with in high school, whom i havent seen in YEARS… that was coincidental. We’ll have lunch soon.
I’ll catch up on tumblr soon. =] I LOVE YOU GUYS!
My biggest fear at the moment.
That I’m living my life selfishly. I’m almost reckless, right now. And rather careless.
And I can’t help but stop and think, “what does the Lord think of this?”.
But its like an addiction. The unknown. My unkown.
Things I’ve always wanted to try, do. Well I’m doing them. The crappy part is, they’re not glorifying God in any way, but steadily just calming my curiousity.
Am I putting my Father to the side, and in my heart saying; “let me try these things out real quick, and I’ll get right back to you”? Or, am I just passionate about life, and the freedoms I have?
It could be both. I think it is.
I don’t think I’m making sense.
My main point to all of this, is I don’t want to be putting my faith, disciplines, love, aside just for some temporary fun.
I don’t want to get so caught up with the things in the world, that I forget who my Spiritual Father is.
Sweet Josie.
Something I’ve fallen in love with.
During this whole outreach, God seriously used me. I know so so very little spanish but when these women tried to converse with me, I was able to speak almost perfect spanish.
It was all God, I can promise you that.
